Creativity As Alchemy

I could feel the pain circulating within me…I could feel the anger, the sadness. Emotions are energy in motion, and all they ask of us is to move through them. Creativity is a powerful tool of alchemy. From everything we are experiencing, we may turn it to gold.

I was stirring in these feelings that were triggering. And I noticed the pattern where I was adding stories to the feelings, trying to explain why I was angry, why I was sad, what had caused the pain, growing it into more anger, more sadness, more pain.

In my healing, I have found I am a powerful creator and I can choose to break this pattern. I no longer choose to create momentum towards my pain. I had done this for years, perpetuating stories of how someone, something external was causing me to feel a certain way. My favorite quote by Eleanor Roosevelt comes to mind - “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

I am not a victim, I have the active choice to see this as an experience that is teaching me something. Teaching me of my power to choose what feeds my soul with deeper nourishment. And adding to the pain was no longer a choice I wanted to make…

I am empowered to tune into the alchemy I could embody - the innovator within me expanding through challenge.

I want to experience the liberation, the catharsis of being in my emotions deeply. Not silence the pain, but rather feel it and create an experience of love, compassion and trust that these feelings are my teachers.

My emotions were so loud and vibrant, causing quite a raucous inside me….I tuned into my inner Creatrix, my divine creative power and she said to me,

Write it down. Speak it loudly.

And this is the art of life. This is the poetry, the romance of the moment I was experiencing - this is the alchemical process of creativity in movement….

So I wrote and here I share the words that landed on my heart and liberated me…

I asked of you

To step in…to the open space

To caress my skin with sparked hands 

Lit by passions unknown

Filled with warm soft breathes

Exhaling along the curves of my being

Yet…I feel your snaked tongue 

chokehold the delicate ends of my fingers

Edging me along

Breaking the bond of trust

Fangs spreading venom in my veins
I am poisoned by the thought of what was

And the space contracts

Scaling walls I grasp forth 

Curved nails brittle and breaking…

I feel a rising…

A molten fury

Shedding into second skin

Slithering out from your weakening grasp

Surrendering what once could be

To what I reach to next

In that moment, the moment I followed my guidance to create freedom in my body, to trust my feelings, I moved from triggered to activated and expanded.

You can too.

Love,

Shayla Manee

P.S. If you desire to alchemize, to create art of the life you are experiencing - I host monthly workshops for you to tune into your inner Creatrix and experience the pleasure, play and presence in allowing yourself to be creative. This is the energy that creates worlds. Check out workshops to join for the next one.