Trust Falling Through Challenge
As I’ve stepped into my newest level of expansion, much is unfolding beyond my control…
And the beautiful piece is this is true at every level.
And my trust is activated to expand beyond anything I have experienced before…
In such fluid movement for my move from Charleston to New York, I decided to make some adjustments in certain aspects of what I thought I desired.
My move was planned August 15 - and in finding my dream apartment, the lease started on September 10.
I re-evaluated the manifestation. I thought that August 15 I was going to move right into NYC. It was the apartment I desired, and I chose to create spaciousness and tune into the support of my family - taking the opportunity to live with my parents and grandma for a few weeks.
When you enter new levels of expansion, you receive all sides of the absolute greatest, beautiful things… and the challenging activations.
In all the time I had before my move, I began working with my sister in law, Kami, to create my vision for my apartment.
The way this apartment came in was a revelation in itself. I had a psychic vision of the place in my dreams weeks before!! I literally proclaimed to my dad as we walked into the place “this is it, I’ve seen this in my dreams”!!!!
And I knew I wanted to be even more intentional in this space, thinking of every curated item with such love.
I had been transported through weeks of clearing and purging car loads of things - clothes, art supplies, dishes, basically all my furniture including my bed frame…so many beautiful things I had accumulated that were just taking space and no longer of use to me.
The catharsis of that release allowed spaciousness for this beautiful apartment to appear. And then I went on to co-create the most incredible vision of my space.
I wanted it to be a sacred altar, like a Hindu temple of devotion but uniquely my own. A place a blissful, spiritual solitude in a vibrant city. We picked pieces one by one - and I was so excited to start gathering it all I began purchasing pretty soon after that.
I had movers come into my Charleston apartment - gathering my intentionally packed items. They offered storage for the month for FREE! What a blissful and easeful surprise!
And when I arrived in NYC, packages of new furniture arriving at my door, I had not heard from my moving company…
I thought, of course they will reach out soon. Set up my air mattress, ready to live out of my suitcase a few more days.
It’s been over a month now.
They FINALLY came yesterday - October 19.
I navigated living out of a suitcase for 2 months - 1 month in a new city - and I want to share key lessons that held me through this chapter:
Safety and comfort is self sourced.
I had learned this teaching before this move and have done embodiment and energetic healing to feel this deeply true in my mind, body and spirit. I said to myself, “I do not need material goods to create safety and comfort, I will not let the circumstances of my situation cause me to feel power less.” I am blessed to be in a beautiful apartment building - a beautiful space I call my own and do not take for granted. In the moments when I began feeling anxious and discomfort in my body while waiting, feeling a lack of ease and discomfort seep in, I would tune into practices that remind me that I am self sourced. Breathing, grounding by laying on the floor (off my air mattress), movement - dancing around open floor space.
Admiring every piece of what was present before me to pause projecting fears into the future or shaming myself from the past.
Not waiting until it happened to live the life I want to….I could have made it the reason to not continue creating a home, I could have made it a reason I wasn’t meant to be here…I could have decided a lot of things. But the devotion is I know in my soul everything happens for a reason. And when I couldn’t understand why this was happening, I would tune into what was already happening that was serving me. And used that as the backbone to hold me as I deciphered the lessons that were here for me now.
Allowing forgiveness to wash over me and standing in my power.
I made a choice to use a company I had not researched fully. I forgave myself for the choice and decided to move forward in my power. Staying in the bitterness and feeling unforgiving toward myself or the company was not allowing me to see the clarity of the situation - that I had an opportunity to rise. I moved through those feelings fully in deep awareness and compassion - and alchemized this into seeing the opportunity before me - to advocate for my desires in full integrity. So I called the company - level headed and demanded to receive updates about my belongings. It took time and energy to ask - however it felt deeply activating to stand boldly for what I desired.
Leaning so fully into receiving support!!!
This was huge - I leaned into my healers - medicine woman creating spaciousness to move through embodiment flows and breathe work. Reiki sessions to clear my energetic field and release pressure. Yoga to be in the breathe and be held in the teachings. I cried, I felt, I moved and spoke with my family on multiple occasions to receive wise words with deeper clarity. I leaned on my friends, talking with them about the situation, receiving deep love, kindness, gifts, more wise words, being reminded to trust the process. I leaned into my belief systems with faith, with surrender, remembering all the beautiful principles of manifestation I have learnt through my own process, coaches and healers I have worked with.
I am devoted to what is meant for me is meant to be.
So I held the trust that I would receive my things no matter what. No. Matter. What. The power of this decision alone is where I have seen my desires come to be. Because no matter the timing, no matter the circumstance, I am available to what I am available for. And I was only making myself available to receiving my belongings.
So it is. So it is.
If you are moving through a magic dark where you aren’t sure what you desire will manifest, tune into what has happened in pure magic in the past. Look to other expanders around you. Feel into the possibility of what it will feel like when everything arrives. This is soooo powerful when we feel like it isn’t happening - we have the power to hold the energy open to receive when we play in the quantum field.
For all the baddies in their character development chapter, you got this.
Ya girl embodied the phoenix rising energy so loud that it turnt her hair red hehe :-)
If you desire to lean into support, I got you. I am here, I see you queen. Let’s rise together.
Self Love Sessions are available to book now - intuitively tailored healing focused on you - moving through any resistance in allll areas of your life - mindset, energetics, wealth, health, career, creativity, manifestations - to feel the ease, trust, flow, presence, and of course, BIG LOVE in ALL of it. Yum.
